*I’m not a lawyer and this isn’t legal advice. This is me telling you how I would handle shit.

Step 1. Try to determine if your foil wants to take something from you or if they just want to establish a social hierarchy. If you’re confused, some one snatching your wallet is one thing. Establishing a social hierarchy is him attempting to make you his bitch, usually through aggression first, then maybe violence.

(Pro Tip- if they want to take something from you there is probably no notice given, you’re just going to be in the fray. Most people don’t want a hard target, they want an easy target which probably involves the element of surprise to limit your defensive ability. But...If someone decides to confront you head on and verbally tells you to hand over something materialistic while brandishing a weapon, just do it. Almost everything is replaceable.)

Step 2. Stand your ground. If someone starts puffing their chest out to prove they are ‘the man’ don’t give way, but don’t push back. Yielding ground may embolden them.
Pushing back may antagonize them.
Standing your ground tells them you’re neither concerned with their antics nor willing to be suckered into their game. Look for exits and position yourself to easily access those exits. But play it cool to avoid escalation.

People get tired of performing for a for a disinterested audience, hopefully he’s realized you’re not the one, kid.

But in the event your ambivalence just fuels his insecurity, and he begins to fire himself up you may be faced with some real decisions here.

Remember those exits you found? It might be time to use one. Tell him you’re leaving. Nothing could be clearer than announcing your intentions. If you still can’t access the exit, it’s time to reassess the threat. This is where mother nature kicks in. Some people are good at threat assessment and some people aren’t. Generally, those who are good at it have been here before or have some extensive training. Being a blue belt in jiu-jitsu alone does not qualify you as a good at assessing threat.

Things to think about quickly:
1. Does this guy intend to do me harm?
2. Am I equipped to handle him if he does?
3. Should I wait to find out?

Keep the current conditions in mind – you can’t access the exit. You’re unable to walk away, you had no luck talking your way out of this, and you have no clue what this person is capable of.

It’s time to act. Now, there is a real risk of getting this wrong. A risk of biting off more than you can chew, a risk of premature engagement that might not have been needed. Or you just might get fucked up. But these are the chances we take. There are no trade-off free decisions.

Here is what you do know - you want to out, you don’t feel like you can safely get out, and this guy is the reason.

If this is the first time you’ve been in this situation, you’re about to find out what kind of man you are. A large part of the answer is determined genetically. Maybe you were descended from berry picklers and there isn’t much anyone can do to help you, but maybe your parents were Vikings, and you have the mythical warrior gene, we’re about to find out.

Verbally try and appeal to the better angels of his nature one last time. If this plea falls on deaf ears you have to act.  Whatever it is you are going to do, do it first, do it hard. Why wait for him to punch you, or grab you, or anything else?

(Pro Tip - If he’s in your face for 15 minutes talking like a lunatic and hits you that isn’t a sucker punch. The only sucker is you for letting it happen. The greatest sin any confrontation is underestimating the viciousness of your adversary.)

Should you decide to engage you better engage. Don’t talk about it, that time has passed. Don’t tip your hand giving him the opportunity to get the jump on you. Just go…fast and ferocious. A well place left hook was my tool of choice but that’s all-personal preference.

So, you’ve initiated some contact. Best case scenario is you sat him down and can move on, at a minimum hopefully you’ve created enough distance between you and your man that you can get around him and access that exit. If so, do it quickly and hope he was looking for a pushover and you just proved you ain’t it.  Once the figurative dust settles you can start to exaggerate the details as you retell this story from the safety of your home.

It's hard to learn fighting instincts as an adult. Like lots of things the experience you build as a kid will serve you well as you grow old. Kids should tussle, they should scrap on the schoolyard, behind the church, over a girl, and defending their mom from insults.

The ones that did those things probably don’t need an article like this.

Key Takeaway – Never walk into a room you don’t know how to walk out of.